I have finally come into terms on how I am going to deal with this "drama" with the dude.

For one thing I really should not feel bad about myself because he did not choose me. Its probably for the best. Besides, just because he rejected me doesn't mean that no one will EVER like me anymore. Its not like I only had one shot at this. I mean if you really think about it, my thing with him was barely a shot at happiness. It was more like life's way of telling me that I can actually survive reality and that I should not always stay within the safe confines of my imagination.

Secondly, I realized that he and I are waaaaaaaaaay too different to even stand each other. We have not spoken to each other for weeks now and it has been the most peaceful time that I ever had with him. There was no drama, no disappointments and no more bad memories being brought up at the most inappropriate moments. It has been...well, okay so far.

Now that I think about it, being secret friends is what we started as anyway and maybe we should have stayed that way. It is more pleasant to be friends with him when we are not interacting in person. I have come to realize that I enjoy receiving the forwarded messages or group broadcasts - that he sends to me and our other friends - than actually talking to him when he is just being obnoxious.

I was so silly to ever think that he and I are going to be great together and even more foolish to act upon a silly thought.

it's not my drawing, dear!!


» renaye on 2008-04-15 08:59:18

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