its the first day of my rest day and i went to my parent's house for a visit and because I'm not feeling well. I guess it doesn't matter how grown-up you think you are, you tend to heal faster when you're mom is around.

i come visit my folks every week and i usually just sleep through it with my job being on a grave yard shift, I'm usually asleep during the day (very vampire-like! ok I just had to write that!) This week has been different because I called in sick the night before and i was able to get a good 8 hour sleep.

so I was lounging in my room, reading Eclipse while i was convalescing. After reading all afternoon I took a break from Edward and poked around my shelf. I haven't touched it since I moved out 2 years ago. I found some quotations- neatly printed in two columns on a white sheet of paper - that i used to collect and re-write on my beautiful notebook with texts copied from the calligraphy book i had since college. I also found my journal from three years ago. I read the last four pages and i can't believe how juvenile my thoughts were back then. There was one entry about a boy that i have been crushing on but i did not write his name in it. Now i can't remember who the entry was about and it got me thinking, would i feel the same for the dude three years from now? Will his memory fall into obscurity as well?

Last year i was so totally smitten over him and now after everything that happened between us i am beginning to think less and less of him. Sure, i still look forward to seeing him at work and talking about senseless stuff with him however the realization that he and i will never be grows stronger everyday. It also helps that he is a jerk most of the time, i can never get a decent word out of him. his responses are often obnoxious and annoying, even on things that matter which makes it easier for me to ignore him. easier and necessary.

i guess we'll just have to wait and see if in two years i will still be writing about him.

ok now back to Edward.....laters!

i have two diaries actually. one is a notebook and one is nutang. got one lying dead on the corner of the internet.

it's good to read back my diary... i got to refresh my memories when i was younger... haha i feel younger after reading it. i also wrote my dreams in there so my fire is never down.. ooh about my crushes... i didn't write their names in the diary but i still remember who and who and their looks!!
» renaye on 2008-02-20 09:27:10

i love reading old diary entries! i swear i was so .. nerdy back then hahaha and corny and whatever other things i'd rather not mention haha
just popped in my head how i still remember the full name of my first crush ever, as in kindergarten stage. :P i wonder if he has facebook? lol
bytheway, you like Urbandub too? they are the shyttt :P
» frostbitten on 2008-02-24 04:20:30

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