(you know who you are)

1. "You like who you like, no need to rationalize things like that."
2. "Basta masaya ka at walang nagdidkta sayo"
3. "Walang Press Realese. Hayaan mo sila mag assume kung ano ang totoo. Confusion is a tool"
4. "Hindi mo kailangan ng ganyang klase ng tao at drama sa buhay mo."
5. "Winning will be your best revenge"
6. "Can't lose what you never had"
7. "Mabuti akong tao, basta wala lang gaguhan"
8. "Pag inangasan ka, angasan mo din."
9. "Pag di ka maka overtake buntutan mo lang mauubusan din ng gas yan."
10. "chill and be real"

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A year has passed since the last vengeful entry and I am glad to say that the anger too, withered with the year. There are two reason for this;

First, the Insensitive Bastard a.k.a the dude ( i no longer call him dude as it now pertains to a higher more important person) managed to to get a silly girl impregnated and produce an offspring, hence making me forgive all his faults by default as I can no longer wish him damnation as it would directly affect the said innocent offspring. So to the Insensitive Bastard, good riddance to you and you better be a good baby daddy or Karma will come and get you! har har! At least, it wasn't me who wished for it! LOL!

Second and the more significant reason is that I have embraced the love that dare not speak its name. I met a really awesome person and needless to say I fell in a fluffy ocean of clouds.
When I finally realized that I wouldn't get anything from chasing losers, she came along and boy was I lucky!

Cheers y'all!

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So I was going through my multiply and found out that Frat boy got himself engaged. I'm not really sure if it's official and if they really are getting married but he calls her his fiancee' so I guess that only means one thing, I'm done.

I'm done putting my life on hold. I'm done waiting for him to come around. I'm done thinking about how things could have been if he was here. I'm done. done. done. done. And I can't say it enough.

Its just too bad that I might give up photography because that is supposed to be "our" thing. However, I just realized that I got into it alone and he did way later so maybe I won't have to give it up.

So, to frat boy I hope you are happy and I wish you well. I just wish that you would stop it with the flirting thing because frankly you are not helping. You found the happiness that you are looking for so PLEASE let me find mine.

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Yes this is another entry about the dude. I saw him with this pretty human-form whom he is probably going out with and the truth is I DID NOT FEEL A THING. I thought that deserves to be on record. Like what I said, I have been doing a pretty good job ignoring his existence that sometimes it feels like he's totally invisible to me. I would have asked my friend who the pretty human-form is but I figured she's just probably one of those brainless types that he wastes his time with to validate his existence. Not much of a surprise there.

As for me, I may not have someone (yet) but things are looking up. I don't think one needs to replace the people who left just so they can prove that they have moved on. Sometimes reclaiming oneself is the ultimate redemption. A friend noticed this change and asked what was up and I told her that I'm getting my old self back.And that is exactly how it feels these couple of days. Although I'm still not at the end of the tunnel but I sure can see the light. I think I'm going to hold on to this positivity for as long as I can. it might not come around so soon next time.

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This is it. It is out for everyone to get their dirty hands on. I have finally admitted to harboring animosity towards the dude because of his insensitive and insulting ways - which is apparently how he is as a friend - and I do not care if it makes me look shallow, pathetic and/or immature. True colors are coming out like squirting blood and you can't put a cork on it.

Now I'm getting what I want; peace of mind and sweet (sweet) revenge.

Peace of mind because I don't have to restrain myself from derogatory words whenever someone asks about him. I no longer have to endure the torture of silently dealing with his insulting words and actions because now that he knows exactly how I feel, he would rather stay away from me if he knows what is good for him.

Revenge is a big word BUT for the lack of a better word I will use it. I do not think that there can be forgiveness here until I see him suffer for his subtle malevolence. I want him to feel the same amount of hurt that I felt when he decided to walk all over me. I want him to go through the same ordeal of having sleepless nights, paranoia and insecurity hanging on his head. I want to see him suffer the same amount - if not worst - mental and emotional torture brought about by an abusive friendship.

When that happens we can call it even and then we can be cool.

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A friend is going through the same thing that I did a few months back - or is still going through - and I am trying to help him keep his spirits afloat. The only difference is between him and I is that he is brave enough to admit his feelings no matter how humiliating it is. He says things that I was very reluctant to even think of. I read once that there is nothing more aggravating than someone giving voice to you own unspoken fears. Who ever came up with that knows what he is talking about.

It really is refreshing to see things in a different perspective. I guess it's true what they say that you will only see the big picture if you are not in it.

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